That Drifting Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the past year, a handful of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, fans undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we knew it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely reacted when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint homemaking as intentional statements. But then you view them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.